Thursday, August 21, 2003
Oh thank the Lord that it is almost the weekend. This week has been so crazy that I feel as though I am going to collapse in exhaustion. Too bad that I have a ton of shit to do this weekend. Luckily, some of it is fun and not centered around errands and chores. Damn those errands and chores.
I saw Freddy Vs. Jason last night and I LOVED it. Yes, it was campy and yes, the acting was horrific, but it was such a wonderful throw back to the originals that it would have been impossible for me not to love every second. Freddy is definitely getting older and Jason seems to be getting bigger (new actor playing the part), but they can still hack up bodies with the best of them. I never realized how hard Jason swings his machete. Man, he rips through bodies like nobody’s business. I almost got hard watching him sling around his brute force.
On Friday night I will be hanging out with Ahmad. He was originally supposed to go to Albany to visit a friend, but the trip was cancelled. Now, he and I are meeting up for drinks so that we can get some closure on our past dating relationship. I have promised myself that I will not kiss him, hug him for too long, or insinuate in any way that he and I should ever date again. I want him as a friend and realize that it is up to me whether or not we act out on our physical attraction. No matter how drunk I get…I REFUSE to kiss his mouth. Okay, maybe once. Okay, maybe twice, but I SWEAR that I will never touch his dick again. Never. Ever. Whatever.
I just love Paul so much. Although he wasn’t thrilled to go see Freddy Vs. Jason, he went willingly and was a gem throughout the entire experience. After the movie was over, I wanted to stop and get a bite to eat and he wanted to go to the local grocery store and make dinner. At first I was irritated because I didn’t want to have to MAKE dinner at midnight, but I gave in and put on my happy face as we did our shopping. When we got home, he decided he wasn’t hungry. At first I wanted to rip his face off, cuz all I wanted to eat was a fast food hamburger and maybe some fries. But I didn’t yell, I simply explained that he wanted to go food shopping and now I was stuck without anything to eat. Without question, Paul got up, went into the kitchen made me two grilled cheese sandwiches, a salmon plate with cream cheese and crackers, and poured me a glass of soda. It was amazing. Usually we would fight over something like this and would probably go to bed hungry and angry. But now we have this new communication thing going and instead of yelling, we talk and fix the problem. I went to bed full and happy.
Mariah invited us both to go see Tori Amos on Saturday, but I had to say “no” because I simply don’t have the money. Paul really wanted to go, but he and I had plans to go to dinner on Saturday night. When I heard him tell Mariah that he would go to the concert anyway, I bit my tongue and shut up about it. Later on in the evening, Paul surprised me by saying that if I don’t have the money to go to the concert, he won’t go either and he will still take me out to dinner. I looked him in the eyes and smiled. We kissed, then we hugged, then we kissed again. It’s like I have a REAL relationship now. And I am thrilled.
When things are going well with Paul, everything else in my life seems to fall into place. I am SO glad that I didn’t do anything irrational and break up with him. Yes, I have been upset with him for a long time, but deep down I just knew that we weren’t ready to end what we have going. Love requires patience and understanding and I’m not convinced that I gave him enough of that when we were having our problems. It takes two people to fight and it takes two people to have a loving relationship. It is very possible that I was a huge part of the problem as well. I am relieved that we are giving this one more chance.
Even more of a reason why I can’t do ANYTHING with Ahmad when I see him. Self-control, self-control, self-control.
Tonight we are auditioning two new girls to replace the one that had to be booted from the production. I PRAY that one of these girls will work out. We are six weeks away from opening night and we desperately need a ton of work. At this point, I am the only one who is memorized for the show. I understand that everyone has a lot going on in their lives and that we don’t have to be fully memorized until Monday, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit concerned. It is impossible for us to run whole scenes if there is even one person who is still working off of the script. It is inevitable that the new girl will be working with the lines in her hand for the first two weeks, which is even more of a reason why Kelly, Ian, and I have to have our shit together. It is our responsibility to pick up the slack. So yeah, I’m a bit concerned.
Tomorrow is Friday! FUCKING YAY.
It really couldn’t come fast enough.
(I love you poodle!)
I saw Freddy Vs. Jason last night and I LOVED it. Yes, it was campy and yes, the acting was horrific, but it was such a wonderful throw back to the originals that it would have been impossible for me not to love every second. Freddy is definitely getting older and Jason seems to be getting bigger (new actor playing the part), but they can still hack up bodies with the best of them. I never realized how hard Jason swings his machete. Man, he rips through bodies like nobody’s business. I almost got hard watching him sling around his brute force.
On Friday night I will be hanging out with Ahmad. He was originally supposed to go to Albany to visit a friend, but the trip was cancelled. Now, he and I are meeting up for drinks so that we can get some closure on our past dating relationship. I have promised myself that I will not kiss him, hug him for too long, or insinuate in any way that he and I should ever date again. I want him as a friend and realize that it is up to me whether or not we act out on our physical attraction. No matter how drunk I get…I REFUSE to kiss his mouth. Okay, maybe once. Okay, maybe twice, but I SWEAR that I will never touch his dick again. Never. Ever. Whatever.
I just love Paul so much. Although he wasn’t thrilled to go see Freddy Vs. Jason, he went willingly and was a gem throughout the entire experience. After the movie was over, I wanted to stop and get a bite to eat and he wanted to go to the local grocery store and make dinner. At first I was irritated because I didn’t want to have to MAKE dinner at midnight, but I gave in and put on my happy face as we did our shopping. When we got home, he decided he wasn’t hungry. At first I wanted to rip his face off, cuz all I wanted to eat was a fast food hamburger and maybe some fries. But I didn’t yell, I simply explained that he wanted to go food shopping and now I was stuck without anything to eat. Without question, Paul got up, went into the kitchen made me two grilled cheese sandwiches, a salmon plate with cream cheese and crackers, and poured me a glass of soda. It was amazing. Usually we would fight over something like this and would probably go to bed hungry and angry. But now we have this new communication thing going and instead of yelling, we talk and fix the problem. I went to bed full and happy.
Mariah invited us both to go see Tori Amos on Saturday, but I had to say “no” because I simply don’t have the money. Paul really wanted to go, but he and I had plans to go to dinner on Saturday night. When I heard him tell Mariah that he would go to the concert anyway, I bit my tongue and shut up about it. Later on in the evening, Paul surprised me by saying that if I don’t have the money to go to the concert, he won’t go either and he will still take me out to dinner. I looked him in the eyes and smiled. We kissed, then we hugged, then we kissed again. It’s like I have a REAL relationship now. And I am thrilled.
When things are going well with Paul, everything else in my life seems to fall into place. I am SO glad that I didn’t do anything irrational and break up with him. Yes, I have been upset with him for a long time, but deep down I just knew that we weren’t ready to end what we have going. Love requires patience and understanding and I’m not convinced that I gave him enough of that when we were having our problems. It takes two people to fight and it takes two people to have a loving relationship. It is very possible that I was a huge part of the problem as well. I am relieved that we are giving this one more chance.
Even more of a reason why I can’t do ANYTHING with Ahmad when I see him. Self-control, self-control, self-control.
Tonight we are auditioning two new girls to replace the one that had to be booted from the production. I PRAY that one of these girls will work out. We are six weeks away from opening night and we desperately need a ton of work. At this point, I am the only one who is memorized for the show. I understand that everyone has a lot going on in their lives and that we don’t have to be fully memorized until Monday, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit concerned. It is impossible for us to run whole scenes if there is even one person who is still working off of the script. It is inevitable that the new girl will be working with the lines in her hand for the first two weeks, which is even more of a reason why Kelly, Ian, and I have to have our shit together. It is our responsibility to pick up the slack. So yeah, I’m a bit concerned.
Tomorrow is Friday! FUCKING YAY.
It really couldn’t come fast enough.
(I love you poodle!)
